Fate on a Friday Night

Friday night. From the bar to the car to the porch to my living room to the stairs to my bed ... the place where I've wanted you since the first time I ever laid eyes on you. Yes, we were drunk, the passion was overwhelming, the lust intoxicating ... what is it about you that makes me want to lose myself completely in the act of pleasing you? You were a selfish lover, but I was not surprised. After the ass U made of yourself four months ago with me, you know, the shameless flirting with random men while we were supposed to be talking, the coy game of playing like you wanted me to suddenly not returning my calls, the typical bullshit boys like you play that made me write you off and not even want you anymore. But, damn U, I see U for the first time in nearly 4 months walk into the bar, alone, and all those feelings rise up in me once more. U have a swagger, an intense confidence, a deceptive confidence, though, masking some pretty blatant insecurities. You're not gorgeous, but rather ordinary looking actually, but you reek of sex appeal. Something about your sweet boy-next-door blandness mixed with your cool I-don't-give-a-shit bravado makes everyone, boys and girls alike, want to rip your clothes off. I must admit to having those feelings too, but I must also admit to wanting to keep your clothes on and instead unravel your mind. Your body is the easier conquest. I must admit to my deepest desire of wanting nothing more than for you to want me, to unravel me, to treasure me, to do and be all the things to me that I would so readily do and be for you. I don't feel this way about a boy often - that easiness that exists between us already as if we were old souls. I wish you would have made the most of things back 4 months ago when we first started talking, who knows what we would be to each other now. But no, there was another man who enthralled you, another closet case like yourself, a serious 'boyfriend' as U call him, a boyfriend U didn't give a 2 second notice when we were getting naked and attacking one another. In the end it doesn't matter. I'd wanted you for so long and now I've finally had you. What's left to say? Maybe that once you came and expended all your energy, as you lay there lying naked in my bed, illuminated by the blue light from my stereo, that it was my greatest delight to study your body with my tongue, to slowly take you in from your head to toe, to make you moan in comfort, to make you feel good. Maybe I still have left to say that the best part of being with you was waking up from time to time in the middle of the night and having you in my arms, my hot naked body wrapped around yours, keeping you close to me, caressing your sweaty head, kissing you gently on your ear and the base of your neck. Maybe it might be worth saying that when I woke up in the morning with you in my ams and I left the bed and I looked back at you, the sunlight breaking through my blinds making your pale skin glow with a hint of sepia, I thought to myself it would be one of life's greatest gifts to always wake up this way, to every morning look over and see you there. Then you go and do something stupid ... you fart. Loudly. U nasty fuck. But I don't care. I slap you and tell you to get your ass out of my bed and I laugh about it. I laugh because you're checking yourself out in my mirror, trying to look at your ass. I smile because for a moment I know you don't want to leave. I know that if I had not had an early morning engagement, you would have stayed a little longer. And that would have been alright.

When you drove me back to my car you said I was engaging. I don't know what that means exactly. But I do know I'm a man of my word. As I got out you told me to "call you". I said, "why would I call you when you never call me back?" And then I said good-bye.

Damn, I'd love to call you. But I can't. I won't. Ever. I'll take what I got, smile about it, remember it fondly and move on. If anything is supposed to happen with us, fate will step in, as she did on Friday night. But I know better than to hope for a silly thing like fate. U little fucker.

"There's nothing wrong if I taste your body beautiful, sweetness coming bountiful, fill me 2 the core." - Saturn, Body Beautiful